[Tabletop Thursday] Of Dice and Men, A.K.A. RNGEsus Saves.
As my introduction to Tabletop Thursdays (one of two themed days on the ISC blog, the other being Music Mondays - alliteration is fun), I’m veering in a very random direction.
For discussion today - two important topics:
RNGesus, and
How RNGesus will be influencing Dicey News in a fun way, in addition to our usual coverage.
I’m relying very heavily on the assumption you, someone who bothered to click an article with such a cringe title, is readily aware of who/what RNGesus is. If that is you, that’s great, you’re in the right place! As you were. Enjoy.
For the small remainder (?Christians misdirected by the algorithm? Social-media rando’s? Mum? Obama?!), I’ll provide a succinct overview/definition of the term.
Lest thy be led into temptations such as weighted dice or VAC bans on Steam, of course.
Enjoy.
Algorithmically-misdirected Christian blog-enjoyers reading this post (colourised, 2025).
Now, blessed flock of confused humans, gather ‘round. Today’s sermon will anoint you with the gifted knowledge of geekdom’s most revered (and feared) pseudo-deity.
Video-gamers also tangentially drawn to the flock by the equally almighty Algorithm - Warframe article coming soon!
O Brother Brady, Whomst’d’ve Is This ‘RNGesus’ Of Which Thou Speaks?
Yea, I shalt quote a hymnal extract from the blessed tome of KnowYourMeme.com:
“RNGesus, a portmanteau of an acronym RNG (random number generator) and the name Jesus, is the name of a deity responsible for luck, chance, and random elements in video games.”
Quality source material, I know.
Please, everyone. Don’t overload me with too many Pulitzers all at once, I’ve nary the space amongst all my nerd/muso accoutrement in the dunge- office!
Like any good Internet-derived term that makes its’ way through entire demographic strata like bowel movements after bad takeaway, a specific singular origin/source is a little hard to discern.
Per the above link, KYM estimates one of the earliest attempts to codify this portmanteau as thus:
‘On January 10th, 2014, an Urban Dictionary user jrad115 submitted a definition of the word[2]:
The deity responsible for situations that are determined largely by luck, chance, or randomness in online games. Derived from RNG, which means "random number generator”.’
(Side Note - You’ve gotta show respect for a meme site showing more thoroughness in referencing material than a good portion of Internet 3.0, in the Age of AI-Slop. I am 14 and this is deep, man).
Quoth the raven KnowYourMeme once more (Nevermore, amirite metalheads?):
Various prayers have been created dedicated to RNGesus by people who believe it would help with the odds related to various random elements in video games[3].
On February 24th, 2015, a YouTuber HysteriA uploaded a video "RNGESUS Our Lord and Savior"[4] where he, in desperation, prays to RNGesus in order to win a match of an online collectible card game Hearthstone, in which he succeeds. In 3 months the video got over 162,000 views.
Which is… not entirely true, I’d say.
RNGesus is more of a running joke. A joke, but one borne from our innate desire to reduce ambiguity, lack of control, cognitive dissonance and the sometimes disparate gulf between plans and outcomes.
‘He’ is a way of us codifying, externalising and sharing a singular strawman source from which we can praise, or loathe.
He’s not the patron of an organised religion, but is instead an omnipresent entity wherever outcomes may be interfered with by the forces of fate.
And what force of fate, I ask, is more uncompromisingly stoic and final than a set of numbers?
For example:
A natural-20 roll where the party NEEDED only the best of results to escape the collapsed cavern, lest they face fictional death and the process of rolling up new character sheets.
A critical hit in an MMO, felling the raid-boss just nanoseconds before it would’ve recast an ability and spelt certain doom for hours of mutual video-game grind.
A source of joy and laughter, such as when the DM spends ages orating an intimidating, fearsome speech by The Big Bad - only to roll Nat-1, fail, and have Bob The Demon Lord look to the player-characters like a bumbling goof as opposed to a climactic titan.
A sigh of relief, the lootbox opened prizing a distressed gamer of exactly the weapon/item/upgrade/shiny they needed, and would’ve otherwise had to grind relentlessly for (via other lootboxes, because of RNG).
Yes, RNGesus is everywhere.
No one concept better illustrates the saying ‘best-laid plans of mice and men’, either.
None better than your greatest in-game successes, failures, triumphs and despairs (yep, that’s an FFG Star Wars reference - you’re welcome, nerds) being influenced by predetermined but totally-random range of numbers, anyway.
Numbers don’t feel. They don’t care. They can’t be bargained with, reasoned with, exterminated, bribed, cajoled or anything else you’d hope influences them. And, to the human brain, such a detachment from our locus of control is as thrilling as it is terrifying.
More specifically re: tabletop RPG players/GMs/DMs alike and putting aside modifiers/buffs/etc - we contractually enter an agreement with pure, simple mathematics the very instant those bastard polyhedrals elope from our hands onto the table. A cosmic act of somatic consent to relinquish the very aforementioned control we so very crave and rely on, in our daily lives.
Thus, in both the video gaming, tabletop and numerous other hobby/interest spaces, we treat RNGesus with mutual reverence, fear, disdain and respect. An iconic figure, RNgeez is a shared joke. On some other level, though, He secretly harbours a safe conceptual sanctuary wherein which we can all pour our collective cognitive dissonance and shared bewilderment at the uncaring, unfazed, immovable nihilism of Pure Math.
“How did that Level 1 Fighter crit an orc chieftain and brain him before the Level 20 Barb got in a swing?”
“Why is the tavern on fire when the inciting incident was just asking the bartender about current ale prices?”
“How was my mate who joined me on the multi-hour Destiny 2 grind blessed with such a beautiful lootbox skin and I nothing, when we fought the same battles?”
“I know I’m just rolling encounter tables, but how the heck am I ever going into work in lizardfolk to the crowded marketplace scene the players find themselves in when the next session starts?!”
The answer to these and many other totally-rational questions is simple - RNGesus.
Ease your befuddlement, my child.
Relinquish control, for the die hath literally been cast.
You might’ve clacked it onto the table, but that thing rolled all by itself.
The moment that plastic 20-sided nerdball left your uncalloused hands, you drove it straight into the hands of providence, of divination.
Pictured: RNGesus seeing a certain single-digit number, face-up on the dice….for the Wisdom saving-throw that otherwise may have spared your player-characters’ life.
Speaking of reverence, if you want a fantastic example of the culture around this term and the pseudo-religious language used, the video cited above by KnowYourMeme has some absolute banger examples in the comments section
LINK:
Lo, behold one of many variations on the Lords’ Prayer cited by the gaming community in the top comment.
Credit to Youtube user/ RNGesus Acolyte @TheV0Odo0 for thy repetition of a holy gamer-phrase:
“Cool. Awesome. Great. I feel *so* educated. Now, mind getting to the point as to exactly what the shit this has to do with Inner-Strength Check?! I’ve got TikToks queued up, brah.”
Ah, fair and sweet summer child, who hath an endless scroll of visual tomes to peruse.
Yea, I shalt not keep thee much longer, and I’ve apparently pivoted to monastic speech.
That bit’s old, you’ve got laundry to put away, I’ll get to the point!
RNGesus, Director of Dicey News (Sort Of - Sometimes).
We spoke before about novelty being an inherent part of the human condition, right?
You’ve been given an introduction into the open-ended and ambiguous nature of mathematically-random results in an ultimately uncaring, unthinking entropic universe, yeah?
Great! Well, rather than make any Tabletop Thursdays segments merely a rote listicle, I’d like to introduce RNG into the equation. A little fun, and a little danger.
Ergo: in addition to any release roundups/Dicey News summaries per our usual, I’m letting RNGesus take the wheel.
I, as someone with no life and too many ideas, have in my possession a custom-made d100 table with 100 potential themes. No, you don’t get a peek. That’s staff benefits stuff. And don’t harass Elodie (our resident RPG design/visual arts expert) about it!
I’ll be rolling said dice in order to obtain a number - whatever the number falls on, that’s the focal point for coverage!
Speaking of Elodie - with no context, this afternoon, I asked her to give me a number between 1 and 100. She gave 81.
I’ll give you one freebie. Stay tuned for a Dicey News special feature on #81 - HORROR!
See? Sometimes RNGesus giveth, sometimes he taketh away.
As a massive horror fan with a whole bunch of horror-RPG-related Dicey News right here in my inbox, I hath been blessed.
Be sure to circle back ‘round for my sermon on tabletop RPG/hobby-horror news real soon!
Most importantly?